to cheat or not to cheat

My wife finds it a bit disturbing how I can watch shows about serial killers.  For me, it is mind boggling how a human being makes the jump from having lunch with someone to dismembering another for a late night snack.  In the case of a serial killer, there is clearly a disconnect from reality.  I would imagine the question for most doctors is how did they get to that point and better yet how  do we prevent those complete breaks in reality.

A marital cheater does not take a life, at least not normally.  While a serial killer destroys life a cheater often destroys a marriage.  If not the marriage, then relationships around them have been damaged.  If I choose to kill someone the the consequence of that sin is death to someone.  If I cheat then the consequence is death to my marriage or other relationships.

The question I find asking myself is what makes a cheater cheat?  In the last 20 years I’ve been taught that if you just go to church and put God first in your marriage you won’t get a divorce.  If you look at pornography you will become an addict and get divorced.  Statistics prove that money is the number one cause of divorce.   I now think all of those ideologies are untrue.  If we look at Ted Haggard, a nationally known pastor who was paying to have sex with men.  Tiger Woods had an amazing looking wife and more money than numerous people combined still found it necessary to have sex with several other women.  Ben Affleck, Josh Duggar, etc…  This list goes on.  If we have men who claim to be followers of God yet that doesn’t appear to be enough.  If we have men who have beautiful spouses and are financially independent and that’s not enough then what is?  I know men who don’t go to church and have been married for decades and have never cheated.  I know men who look at pornography and have never cheated.  So if it’s not money, beauty, pornography then what is driving men and women to be unfaithful?


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